Despite the elation I felt last night after finally getting up into forearm balance, I left the studio in a bit of a slump due to something the teacher said after class. It was such an innocent, meaningless, trying-to-be supportive comment, but it took me from 10 to zero in a matter of seconds.
“This was the first time in years I got up into forearm balance!” I said to her. “Practicing dolphin all this time has really helped me, and I can totally feel the difference form when I first started!”
::beam beam beam::
“That’s awesome!” she said. “I’ve been noticing you experimenting with lifting you feet off the ground while in dolphin.”
::beam beam beam::
She continued. “I just wish we could get those hips of yours to open.”
WahI’mSoSadIWillGoHomeAndWatchCNNwithLibya&Japan&nuclearMeltdownsAndStuffAndCryMyselfToSleep.
I went from experiencing a major victory in my yoga practice to being reminded that I still can’t do pigeon. Or baddha konasana without blocks or blankets under my knees. The teacher doesn’t know it, but my hip was one of things holding me back from doing forearm balance. You gotta swing those legs up there somehow, and months ago I was terrified something would snap if I did so. So last night’s inversion was technically a hip-related accomplishment, but the teacher’s little “hope for more” was such a killjoy.
What’s frustrating is that my hips are open. In reality, I’m very flexible in the hip area, and that’s how this whole mess started. I hyperextend; as a result, everything gets loosey goosey and tendons start to move out of place. I don’t NOT do pigeon because I have tight hips; I refrain from the pose because I can do it too well, and the moment my front leg drops down, the tip of my femur jams into the loose cartilage in my hip socket, and there is pain.
I know the teacher meant no harm, and I’m not mad at her in any way. Just observing how sometimes a comment can be so innocuous yet so loaded.
Flowtation Devices 
8 comments
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Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 12:02 pm
Lavinia
I know exactly how you feel! My hips have always been a sore point for me…first in ballet then in Yoga. Whilst I am quite bendy, I have really tight hips (vs your loose hips ;)) tt prevent me from opening up in Pigeon and other ‘hip-py’ poses. It is frustrating, and if my teacher had said that to me I would’ve been in a funk too. Having said that though, my tight hips are what make my pigeon pose MY pigeon pose and I am sure your baddha konasana is absolutely beautiful because it’s your spirit of expression of the pose that matters.
Also, congratulations on your forearm balance. I’m still at the beginning stage where getting into Dolphin makes my upper arms feel like they’re on fire lol. Hopefully I’ll get there soon!
XXX
Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 1:57 pm
flowtationdevices
I can’t help but chuckle every time I use the phrase “loose hips.” Yikes!
Also, I love what you said: “your baddha konasana is absolutely beautiful because it’s your spirit of expression of the pose that matters.” That’s such a nice way of putting it. Because when I’m in the pose, I’m really IN it, not sitting there with a sourpuss expression on my face, back hunched and grimacing. It may be limited, but the stretch still feels wonderful!
Thanks for commenting; I have a note to add you on my blog roll!
Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 2:59 pm
Nancy A
As a teacher I can guess she was really trying to give you a compliment and at the same time say “hey you worked to get here so let’s move on to another area we can play with.” Still I can see your frustration. I just blogged about imperfection for this very reason: lots of us think that if we can’t rock poses the way others do it means we are “less than.” Bollocks! I will NEVER get into full Hanumanasana (splits) because my hips just don’t do that, and my good friends who run marathons will never have heels down in downward dog. Bodies are different.. celebrate what is magical and flawed about yours!
Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm
flowtationdevices
Oh, I know the teacher meant nothing but positive; it’s just my self-consciousness getting in the way. BTW, I LOVED that post of yours. It really resonated with me.
Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Nancy A
p.s. I wanted to add that shoulders and hips are tied.. so open shoulders AND hips to get deeper into the poses.. might help
Thursday, March 24, 2011 at 5:16 pm
flowtationdevices
It makes sense, then, why my one shoulder is a bit wonky too!
Saturday, April 9, 2011 at 12:26 pm
spiritmovesdance
Oh yeah, that would have gotten me down too. I hate comments like that, and it feels wrong to be mad at the person when you know they meant well.
Would it help to talk to the teacher about your real experience in the pose?
Sunday, April 10, 2011 at 12:30 am
flowtationdevices
I think I’ll speak to her only if she brings up the hips thing again, just so she knows that I’m truly injured, not just “tight” and reluctant to sink deeper in the poses.
I felt a little better during last week’s class, when a 3-month pregnant woman came in. She had to modify a lot of the poses, and although she wasn’t injured, I felt like I had a partner in crime. She couldn’t do belly-down postures, I couldn’t do pigeon. We were a team!